July 19th, 2021
Today I remembered something my doctor advised me many years ago when I told her I was turned down for a job that I was initially sought for. It was never a job I had expected to do but excited me nevertheless. She was the best doctor I ever had. We didn’t see each other often but she always remembered me and some of the issues I had faced in the past. She could see things for much bigger than I did at the time. Thinking about it she used to give a lot of life advice along the way. Like it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, and you can’t expect to do either or so with a broken leg so just take it one step at a time. But on this occasion she spent the best part of this appointment telling me that No doesn’t always mean no. If you really want something you don’t accept a no. No doesn’t mean no. Simply no to no. I couldn’t even say anything that began with a but, because that would mean accepting no. Every now again I remember this conversation and I smile and appreciate this moment I had. That feeling of motivation and determination that she had and tried to convey to me somehow stuck with me to this day. Sadly a few years later I discovered my doctor moved away to another surgery and I never got to say thank you or good luck. But nevertheless this was one of my favourite doctors I ever had and I don’t know why of all days this crossed my mind. Perhaps the little inner bull doesn’t always accept no after all. But in a phase of feeling not my best self, perhaps it is my inner bull telling my whole self.. this is not acceptable and no. No no. We don’t accept defeat. Because that’s part of me of how I have felt.